Women Love to Talk
When women sit together to watch a movie on TV, they usually talk simultaneously about a variety of subjects, including children, men, careers and what’s happening in their lives. When groups of men and women watch a movie together, the men usually end up telling the women to shut up. Men can either talk or watch the screen-they can’t do both-and they don’t understand that women can. Besides, women consider that the point of all getting together is to have a good time and develop relationships-not just to sit there like couch potatoes staring at the wonder why is it that Luis — the underwear model — always manages to bring the women he chats up back to his place? It can’t be all about his great looks. After all, you’ve seen so many other good-looking men go home empty-handed. What is it about Luis — the underwear model — that charms the ladies so?
The big difference between the big players of this world and the regular guys is their listening skills. A lot of men don’t know this, but you can actually improve your chances of sleeping with a woman by listening and responding properly to her dialogue.
listen with ears, not mouth
In general, most men are awful listeners and tend to talk too much. Most fellows take the “Analyzing, Judging & Advising” listening approach, also known as the “Listening to help her with her problems so that she can appreciate me more and hopefully want to have sex with me” approach. Such an approach, obviously, is the wrong one.
Your target already has her mommy, daddy, Aunt Nosy, and her fat, ugly friends criticizing and lecturing her with their own moral advice. The last thing she wants is to meet yet another person who will make her feel terrible about a particular problem.
On the other hand, she wants to meet someone who will listen and understand her, as well as relate to her problems without judging her or providing unwanted advice. In order to be this person, you have to learn how to chat using the “Active Listening Approach.”
your active style
Active listening skills are helpful in general intelligence gathering. This particular weapon is used to scan for hooks (points of interest to feed on) and red flags (subjects to avoid). Once you have all the relevant information, you can move on to social influence using the intelligence you’ve gathered. Hey, you’ve always wanted to be a spy; here’s your chance to play James Bond — without her knowledge, of course.
Here’s how you can get started:
# Encourage thoughts by asking her open-ended questions and then begin with your “active listening” skills (intelligence gathering).
# Use minimal verbal encouragements, such as “Yes, go on,” “Okay,” “I see,” and “Uh huh.”
# Whenever she pauses, repeat the last few words of her last sentence and then pause. This is a common interrogation technique used by Federal agents to encourage individuals to continue revealing their true thoughts.
# Don’t interrupt her and try to encourage her train of thought without agreeing or disagreeing. This will help you learn more about her.
More ways to become a master listener…